Life of A Feeser


November 2014


Pastors Wives Retreat (10/6/2014)

I was able to attend my first Pastors Wives retreat here. I was continually making excuses on whether or not I should go. That “I didn’t have anyone to watch the kids” when my parents offered many times to keep them for the weekend, or I didn’t have the “time”; I pretty much made up every excuse in the book to not go. Then, my loving husband said I had to. He does that a lot, because I tend to talk myself out of many events.

I’m super introverted when it comes to things like this. Going to a conference where there were 900 women and I didn’t know anyone freaked me out. Being by myself scares me, knowing that I was probably going to be the youngest one there intimidated me, and being the only PW with tattoos and a nose piercing not entirely concealable made me feel a tab insecure.

There I went, packed the kids in the van (yes I have a minivan and love it), dropped them off at Papa and Nana’s house came back and started my weekend off. I probably had 4 mini anxiety attacks before the first segment. But I did it.  And met 3 wonderful women there who would probably be my BFFs even more so if we still lived in Phoenix.

The Theme was “Rooted”. If you know me, I’m obsessed with trees. I actually have one tattooed on my arm. I don’t know why I am, but I’ve always been fascinated with them. Trees are just beautiful and produce two things: beauty and bounty. It’s a constant reminder of seasons and change, that’s exactly where our family is now, in a season of change.


To be Rooted in the Word, why? {Colossians 2:7}

  • For stability
  • For truth
  • For its standard (2 Cor. 2:20)
  • For its perspective
  • When I am rooted, the Lord will bring Victory
  • Because the Word is a book of promises and there isn’t one that I can’t claim.
  • I can choose to live as a victim, in shame and defeat. Or I can CHOOSE to live in the Lord’s promised. I can choose to stand, to with-stand.
  • He who knows the why of His existence will remember the how.
  • Sin sets us apart from God’s purpose…holiness sets us apart for God’s purpose.
  • To be reminded of who HE is and to remember who I am. I am a new creation in Him.

That is just a tiny, tiny part of what I had learned in that weekend. I seriously could go on and on about how wonderful the conference was and how much I needed to be refreshed that weekend. So I will spare you 4,000 more words of note taking and my thoughts 🙂

In the end I realized, as Acts 2:1-4 states…” be filled with the Holy Spirit” I can’t be the wife or mother that I need to be without the Holy Spirit. I need sanctification. And Jesus is the only one that can do that.

If I’m not Rooted in the Word, and being an example of Jesus to my husband and children I have failed. Not failed as in I do not do amazingly fun projects with the kids every day, or failed as in I did not have my home looking “Pintrest worthy” but failed as in I did not do the job that God created me to do, raising my children to KNOW God, to SERVE Him, and to LOVE Him. Not only am I rooting myself in the Word; I am forming an example for little minds and little hearts to follow after and thereby be rooted as well.


Part 2- two months later

Moving: Part 2 (09/18/2014)

Week 2 of being here at the Bible College has officially come. It’s been a crazy two weeks of chaos but we made it.

Jase has already been asked to mentor 2 guys!

As much as we thought we would be hitting the ground running with ministry it hasn’t happened yet. Our home group hasn’t started due to Jase’s work schedule being everywhere with hours so until further notice that will be put on pause.

Everyone is finally healthy from being sick with a stomach bug. Seth has a minor cold, but nothing too serious. Emerson is now 7 months old! I can’t believe it! She’s finally taking an interest in eating solids. And baby led weaning is in full effect. It’s so exciting!

The past couple days have been trying for me personally. I’ve been reflecting a lot of the “I miss” parts of before the move. The Lord is really teaching me patients and humility…I’m not doing too well at times, but I think I get it after many failed attempts. Here are some examples:

  1. My kitchen- [that speaks for itself] Many of you know that I have been paleo for a couple months and now living at CCBC I am unable to keep up with the diet. I threw a hissy fit, wined and probably stomped my feet in anger BUT because The Lord is always gracious, they have a GF menu here that I can enjoy for every single meal. AND IT’S AMAZING!
  2. My washer and dryer. Remember that time when I could just wash whatever I wanted, whenever? That ship has sailed. We tried for two days to do a load of laundry. (And mostly it was just washing the kid’s diapers. The clothes could wait the cloth diapers; they are on a different schedule.) That really got to me… I was so ticked that I couldn’t do laundry on MY time like before… and then I read my devo and felt the guilt hit me hard in the pit of my stomach.

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

Ephesians. 4:1-6

 But if you have 2 kids in the stroller, wheeled them up a hill with a huge bag of laundry every 20 minutes to see if it’s ready to be used I think you’d be ticked to! The Lord was again faithful to me in my stubbornness and I was able to get it done after I had calmed myself down.


  1. Having more than one room: It’s easier to put the kids down and walk away,and close the door. Instead of doing that, I listen to screaming until one of them falls asleep. The Lord has also shown me grace in this because of what we thought was IMPOSSIBLE. Our son has been able to fall asleep without a care in the world. Whether I’m sitting right next to him or if I’m sitting outside. My daughters a different story…she’s still a baby.
  2. Being able to escape: with an almost 2 year old…you moms know. It’s nice to have a different place where you just zone out and leave the kids in their rooms for a little quiet time. I don’t have that. The Lord’s teaching me patience again with that. And how to deal with anger when I have a trying day with my kids. I draw closer to Him in that moment, dive into the Word on my porch, and completely focus on Him.


I then realized these things are just “stuff” these things are replaceable. It’s fixable with the right attitude. It’s hard. Don’t get me wrong… but we are all just learning how to cope with a small room to ourselves. The Lord is faithful in provision, He is faithful in teaching my family, and He comforts me when I have NO idea what I am doing as a parent. What is key? The Lord is ALWAYS going to be faithful.

– Alyssa

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