Six or more months have gone by without me writing. It’s one of those things where family, ministry and self needed to come first. They did…and now I am back. With the absence from my blog, I have learned some things about myself that I never wanted to be in the light. I have mourned for things I thought I was over and I have fought a battle that I realized couldn’t be won with my own strength or my husbands, but The Lord’s.
It’s so frustrating when you realize that you have no control over “you”, that Jesus is going to do and teach you when He want’s to teach you that day; and that’s final. It’s frustrating when He’s always right. Right? Am I alone here? But that’s what I love about it all, that Jesus always puts me in places where I meet the people that I needed to meet. Maybe not at that time…but I will eventually realize He was showing me the right people to be around.
It all started 8 years ago. The joint pain, the fatigue, the grogginess. I was 17 almost 18 at the time. My parents and I were told it was growing pains… and if you know me, I was and always have been 5ft tall, ironic right? The next year we were told it was Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis, but was not told the specifics… just to treat it with Aleve and Tylenol and I’d be fine. Fast forward two years and my husband and I got married, had a family and here I am unable to get out of bed because I’m too exhausted from not sleeping and my bones feel like they are constantly grinding together. I feel like I’m 90 years old.
We went to countless Dr.’s being told I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, to Lupus to having both at the same time. I wasn’t on any medication up to these diagnoses’, I was in chronic pain for years before they THOUGHT this is what I had. I held a normal 20 year old life with a full time job, full time work while being a wife and pregnant. Don’t get me wrong there were days when I wanted to give up. I wasn’t going to let it win. I wanted to be normal.
After Jason and I had our last child, we decided to get some real answers. Some definite answers. Not a maybe’s and “we think’s” any more. There were months where we were at the Dr.’s office 4 or 5 times a week with both kids. I was tired of it. I was tired of lying on the couch watching my kids play. I was tired of giving up the gym because everything hurt. I was tired of being tired. And we needed help. I needed help. We went the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona. We had a diagnostic team look and determine my problems. And FINALLY, after 8 years, we were told what was wrong.. It wasn’t lupus, its wasn’t RA, it was Fibromyalgia.
Good thing about this is that it is not life threatening like Lupus, but there also aren’t magical pills to make it go away either. There isn’t a cure; there isn’t a pain med for Fibro. You just have it and that’s that.
There had to be more; there had to be something that I could do for myself to feel normal. I was tired of being a zombie that was in pain all the time. But what I learned is that it’s a lifestyle change. It’s about being “okay” and trusting the Lord with it. Maybe this was it. Maybe I was supposed to be like Paul the Apostle; he asked for healing for years and Jesus never healed him. That was His will. Maybe this WAS it. Little did I know, help was on its way!
Remember when I said Jesus has you meet people for a reason? It was that moment I knew this was a God thing. When we were living in California, we went to a church down in Riverside that we dearly loved. We met tons of new faces weekly and loved connecting with them. It was then that I met a Pastor’s wife and we talked a little here and there; when we moved back to Phoenix I never would have thought that she’d introduce me to something that would have changed my life for the better. Something that helped her find relief from Osteoarthritis in her spine that she no longer has anymore. Something that was all natural, and only has positive side affects.
One word: PLEXUS
I took all of her advise, I ordered, I took all of it for two months straight. Little by little I felt less and less pain. I felt more energized! My depression was slowly decreasing. My anxiety wasn’t spiked. The first month I had a WHOLE WEEK where I had ZERO pain. I thought it was a cruel joke. There was no way. It felt weird to dress myself, to be ale to run with my kids around the house. It was weird to feel free. Pain was supposed to be my normal. But now it’s very few and far between. I still have bad days don’t get me wrong. But it’s not my everyday anymore. I have ME back.
If you are reading this and struggle with an autoimmune disorder and have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask. I would LOVE to share more and help you on your journey to feeling better as well.