Search

Life of A Feeser

Category

Uncategorized

Rooted

Pastors Wives Retreat (10/6/2014)

I was able to attend my first Pastors Wives retreat here. I was continually making excuses on whether or not I should go. That “I didn’t have anyone to watch the kids” when my parents offered many times to keep them for the weekend, or I didn’t have the “time”; I pretty much made up every excuse in the book to not go. Then, my loving husband said I had to. He does that a lot, because I tend to talk myself out of many events.

I’m super introverted when it comes to things like this. Going to a conference where there were 900 women and I didn’t know anyone freaked me out. Being by myself scares me, knowing that I was probably going to be the youngest one there intimidated me, and being the only PW with tattoos and a nose piercing not entirely concealable made me feel a tab insecure.

There I went, packed the kids in the van (yes I have a minivan and love it), dropped them off at Papa and Nana’s house came back and started my weekend off. I probably had 4 mini anxiety attacks before the first segment. But I did it.  And met 3 wonderful women there who would probably be my BFFs even more so if we still lived in Phoenix.

The Theme was “Rooted”. If you know me, I’m obsessed with trees. I actually have one tattooed on my arm. I don’t know why I am, but I’ve always been fascinated with them. Trees are just beautiful and produce two things: beauty and bounty. It’s a constant reminder of seasons and change, that’s exactly where our family is now, in a season of change.

10660386_10203932735457739_5140740285309697581_n

To be Rooted in the Word, why? {Colossians 2:7}

  • For stability
  • For truth
  • For its standard (2 Cor. 2:20)
  • For its perspective
  • When I am rooted, the Lord will bring Victory
  • Because the Word is a book of promises and there isn’t one that I can’t claim.
  • I can choose to live as a victim, in shame and defeat. Or I can CHOOSE to live in the Lord’s promised. I can choose to stand, to with-stand.
  • He who knows the why of His existence will remember the how.
  • Sin sets us apart from God’s purpose…holiness sets us apart for God’s purpose.
  • To be reminded of who HE is and to remember who I am. I am a new creation in Him.

That is just a tiny, tiny part of what I had learned in that weekend. I seriously could go on and on about how wonderful the conference was and how much I needed to be refreshed that weekend. So I will spare you 4,000 more words of note taking and my thoughts 🙂

In the end I realized, as Acts 2:1-4 states…” be filled with the Holy Spirit” I can’t be the wife or mother that I need to be without the Holy Spirit. I need sanctification. And Jesus is the only one that can do that.

If I’m not Rooted in the Word, and being an example of Jesus to my husband and children I have failed. Not failed as in I do not do amazingly fun projects with the kids every day, or failed as in I did not have my home looking “Pintrest worthy” but failed as in I did not do the job that God created me to do, raising my children to KNOW God, to SERVE Him, and to LOVE Him. Not only am I rooting myself in the Word; I am forming an example for little minds and little hearts to follow after and thereby be rooted as well.

Part 2- two months later

Moving: Part 2 (09/18/2014)

Week 2 of being here at the Bible College has officially come. It’s been a crazy two weeks of chaos but we made it.

Jase has already been asked to mentor 2 guys!

As much as we thought we would be hitting the ground running with ministry it hasn’t happened yet. Our home group hasn’t started due to Jase’s work schedule being everywhere with hours so until further notice that will be put on pause.

Everyone is finally healthy from being sick with a stomach bug. Seth has a minor cold, but nothing too serious. Emerson is now 7 months old! I can’t believe it! She’s finally taking an interest in eating solids. And baby led weaning is in full effect. It’s so exciting!

The past couple days have been trying for me personally. I’ve been reflecting a lot of the “I miss” parts of before the move. The Lord is really teaching me patients and humility…I’m not doing too well at times, but I think I get it after many failed attempts. Here are some examples:

  1. My kitchen- [that speaks for itself] Many of you know that I have been paleo for a couple months and now living at CCBC I am unable to keep up with the diet. I threw a hissy fit, wined and probably stomped my feet in anger BUT because The Lord is always gracious, they have a GF menu here that I can enjoy for every single meal. AND IT’S AMAZING!
  2. My washer and dryer. Remember that time when I could just wash whatever I wanted, whenever? That ship has sailed. We tried for two days to do a load of laundry. (And mostly it was just washing the kid’s diapers. The clothes could wait the cloth diapers; they are on a different schedule.) That really got to me… I was so ticked that I couldn’t do laundry on MY time like before… and then I read my devo and felt the guilt hit me hard in the pit of my stomach.

I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, 2 with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, 3 endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

Ephesians. 4:1-6

 But if you have 2 kids in the stroller, wheeled them up a hill with a huge bag of laundry every 20 minutes to see if it’s ready to be used I think you’d be ticked to! The Lord was again faithful to me in my stubbornness and I was able to get it done after I had calmed myself down.

10670089_10203748443050544_897574782828197217_n

  1. Having more than one room: It’s easier to put the kids down and walk away,and close the door. Instead of doing that, I listen to screaming until one of them falls asleep. The Lord has also shown me grace in this because of what we thought was IMPOSSIBLE. Our son has been able to fall asleep without a care in the world. Whether I’m sitting right next to him or if I’m sitting outside. My daughters a different story…she’s still a baby.
  2. Being able to escape: with an almost 2 year old…you moms know. It’s nice to have a different place where you just zone out and leave the kids in their rooms for a little quiet time. I don’t have that. The Lord’s teaching me patience again with that. And how to deal with anger when I have a trying day with my kids. I draw closer to Him in that moment, dive into the Word on my porch, and completely focus on Him.

1509248_10203845017864854_8219454897067326800_n

I then realized these things are just “stuff” these things are replaceable. It’s fixable with the right attitude. It’s hard. Don’t get me wrong… but we are all just learning how to cope with a small room to ourselves. The Lord is faithful in provision, He is faithful in teaching my family, and He comforts me when I have NO idea what I am doing as a parent. What is key? The Lord is ALWAYS going to be faithful.

– Alyssa

Moving day: Part 1

We have been in California a little over a week now. And life has been absolutely insane. We packed up our entire house in 48 hours, drove 1 truck and 2 cars from Phoenix to Murrieta, California. A drive that normally takes us 4-5 hours took us longer than 6 with a moving truck…oh and having two babies to stop for as well.

13605_10203607090836827_5880068167186534464_n

 

1506957_1466060303655721_7562578362289060627_n 1621987_1466060386989046_4693786377448773579_n

We left Phoenix close to 11am and with all the stops we wound up on the Bible College campus around 8pm. All of us were exhausted, unpacked the essentials (aka bed and cribs), knocked out for the night and hit the ground running early the next morning. My Mother-in-Law and I had the fun job of getting things to decorate, while the men were home D.I.Y-ing our 300 sqft room.

Yes, I said 300 sqft. room. All 4 of us in ONE room.

This is the before picture…Once my kids are up… there will be an after one. 

10639441_10203616542193105_182481371737856719_n

With that, my husband and Father-in-law made probably the best canopy/wall partition ever. Who needs Pintrest when I have them?! It’s seriously the easiest thing to make, under $100 and looks super cute without ruining your walls. (Tutorial to come later)

10615645_10203638363498624_5954429382830228193_n

The week started to look good; until I was out shopping with my MIL and I received a text message from my husband…our son had gotten sick everywhere. We quickly rushed home, and sure enough… a stomach bug. First I gave him coconut water for electrolytes, and then rubbed digestZen, ONguard and Lavender essential oils all over his stomach, feet and head. His symptoms started to decrease until that night…that night I was the one getting sick. And that morning? My husband… the only 3 people who did not get sick was my in-laws and our 6 month old daughter. Thank God. As soon as I got home to take over for Seth I started rubbing cold/flu bomb 2 times a day on Emerson’s chest, back and feet and I believe it’s what saved her from getting sick… Jase had to start work Tuesday morning and we were praying he was going to feel better by then. And finally the bug passed and our home is now completely germ free. That was the first couple days of being here on campus. you can’t tell in this picture. but they were both really sick that day 😦 

10606373_10203650613764873_5116583776092062125_n

We are finally getting adjusted to life here. It’s definitely different being here with a family than it was when Jase and I were here as students. Meals are at certain times, mail can only be checked certain days, and there are new faces everywhere. The kids love being outside compared to Phoenix. Seth’s definitely getting all of his energy out daily but it has been a huge transition for all of us. There is no more eating whenever we feel like having dinner haha! But we are all getting though it! There is so much to be a part of here on campus we can’t wait to start getting involved!

10563014_10203677606359671_5194180866036823633_n10613061_10203691732352812_4126919369582577975_n

We miss our Phoenix friends, but we are loving life out here in California. Having my parents 30 minutes away is a major plus. I’m still getting used to being able to see them whenever we want!

More to come! 

Always, Alyssa

DoTerra oils: https://store.do-essential-oils.com/?gclid=CO-pj_S70sACFQ-DfgodmY4AV  

Cold/flu bomb recipe: http://chicagoessentials.com/post/64137903601/cold-and-flu-bombs

We Have an Announcement To Make

“Go to the depths of God’s promise, and claim whatsoever you will; The blessing Of God will not fail you, His Word He will surely fulfil. How can God say no to something He has promised?”          – Charles H. Spurgeon

For the past year and a half we’ve been praying about what the Lord wants for our family. If where we are is where God has us, and if Phoenix is our forever home. It’s been a long road of tries, failures, contentment, patients, and frustration. But these past 2 months have been nothing but pure joy.  Why you ask? Our prayers have been answered.

We went out to California to see my family for a weekend. We were really itching to get the kiddos to the beach and on the first chance we had we packed up and left for the weekend. Well the beach was great, Seth loved the water and the atmosphere exhausted our little one out. Emerson stayed behind with my parents and had a blast there.

The next day Jase and I went on a date. Now most people have their family close they are able to drop off their kids at their in-laws homes and enjoy their night. Jase and I don’t have that. We have wonderful amazing friends that watch our children, but nothing compares to the joy of dropping off your kids at their grandparents home. If you have that close by, hold it dear. It’s truly a blessing.

We didn’t know what to do really. So from the little town of where my parents live we drove south to Murrieta. With that said we stopped at our old college, grabbed a cup of coffee and talked. Those are the best dates with him. Talking. The subject came up of where God wants us, is it still Phoenix? Is it somewhere else? And as we were walking to the car it hit us… we are supposed to be “here”.  Here meant the Bible College. Here meant California. Where I have been praying for 3 years to bring us back to, but I had NO clue that it would mean the Bible College.

On our 5 hour car ride home we dreamt and joked about how cool it would be how insane it sounds and why. But when we got home doors started opening, and it was as if we couldn’t walk through them fast enough. We took a leap of faith, put in an application and waited. In that time we were leaving for vacation to Ocean City, New Jersey so we had a distraction…so we thought. We wound up getting a phone call saying there is a position available and if we wanted it, it was ours. But we decided to do a 24 hour road trip and meet face to face about the position. We got back from vacation the 13th which was a Sunday night. That Thursday we packed and headed back to CCBC praying this was what we were supposed to do. We met bright and early, and we left with a job. That night we came back to Phoenix and waited. We waited patiently…mostly impatiently, for a month. Those were the longest 4 weeks of our lives. Not knowing if housing was going to fall through we took another leap of faith and put our notice in for our apartment. That’s when it became real; we had our home on the line. If the Lord closed the door we had to figure something out.  Again, we waited. Yesterday we got our answer:

We, the Feeser family will be moving to Murrieta, California August 29. We will be living and serving on campus in whatever needs the college has for us to do. We will be trading in our 3 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment to a dorm room with a bathroom, trading in our kitchen, for a cafeteria, and well trading 115 degree weather for well, not 115. All this with two children under the age of 2. Some will think we are crazy, some won’t understand but The Lord promised this to us that day we had our date.

This is something we have to do. We will miss all of our friends; we will miss our church family. We are leaving with the support from those close to us, and most of all the support from our Pastor Mark Martin we wouldn’t be able to do this without you. It is bittersweet for everyone; we are leaving with heavy hearts. But all we ask is for you to be praying for our family as we are being sent on this mission and pray for the students on campus to learn more than they expected.

We will be posting about a “see-ya-soon” party with in the next week. So, I hope you all will be available to come. Thank you so much for loving our family, and for being there every step of the way.

And here you thought I was pregnant again. 😉

“He has given us His very great and precious promises” 2 Peter 1:4

Love, The Feeser’s

What if Bottle is best?

In honor of World Breast Feeding Week I’d like to take a moment and applaud you momma’s who weren’t able to breast feed. You’ve worked hard and did the best for your children, you have not failed, you have not shamed motherhood, and you have not given up. You did the best that you could do in that moment and that is the RIGHT thing to do. Either way, boob or bottle we feed our children. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. And as you can see from the picture above of my kids, they are way beyond healthy 🙂

The competitions between Mothers need to stop, the judging needs to stop. You don’t know the story of why that mom nurses without a cover, it could be because her child hates it, or her child absolutely refuses to take a bottle. And you don’t know the story of why that mom is using formula. It could be she wasn’t able to produce despite what remedies midwives and consultants tried.

My story is I wasn’t able to nurse both my kids. I was ashamed with my first born, I felt like I failed as a mother. I couldn’t feed my child the way that nature intended. We saw multiple consultants, did all the supplements, did EBF and I thought he was getting fed. Until we took him to the Dr. and his pee was bright orange. He was dehydrated and I had no idea. I heard the words that I never wanted to hear and I had to put him on a high calorie formula to have him gain weight. As soon as Seth got a hold of that bottle he gulped down the milk as if he was starving.

Things were going great until about month 4 when he started vomiting after every meal… we tried COUNTLESS formulas, many remedies and I finally just gave up and took him to our Naturopath. She didn’t even have to examine him, all she said was he has a milk protein allergy. She could tell by the eczema, the cradle cap, and how he refused to eat. I thought it was all natural baby stuff when it was all outer symptoms of the milk intolerance. We left with a goat’s milk formula recipe. It looked SO daunting. All these ingredients and I was responsible for making it right. I got home; Jase and I ran over to the local Sprouts and got all of the ingredients. Since then we’ve never had a throwing up problem, or stomach cramps. It was miracle milk.

Side note: did you know that goat’s milk formula is almost identical to breast milk? They are so close nutritionally it’s pretty awesome

Things were different with Emerson. With Emerson she was born at 36 weeks due to my medical conditions I had with her being pregnant. (Cholestasis, gestational diabetes – that was due to my RA steroids keeping my pain level down, Placenta Previa, and bed rest at 26 weeks on because of pre-term labor.)  So if you can imagine everything going wrong, I had it, but my daughter was healthy and safe so it didn’t matter.

At 36 weeks my c section was scheduled due to having a previous emergency C-section with Seth and being that my kids are 13 months apart I had to have another one. We found out when Emmy was born she was breeched and had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck 3 times. She was immediately rushed to the NICU I barely saw her. I had no idea what she looked like. My husband followed her and I had to wait until they were done with me so I could see my baby. Em had respiratory distress, couldn’t be held, and was only eating out of a tube in her mouth or up her nose. We couldn’t hold our newborn until 24 hours later. Even then she still had the CPAP machine on her so I couldn’t even see what she looked like. When we left the hospital we left with no baby…she was there for a week learning how to eat and breathe on her own. We were there by her side as much as we could.

When her weight started declining they had to put her on a high calorie  formula for preemies to help gain her weight back. She was released to come home and we had no problems with the formula until again about month 3-4. I automatically switched her to goat’s milk and I’ve had nothing but a happy baby since.

I’ve recommended this formula to many mothers that have asked me for help. I can’t even count how many I have helped now. But if I can speak for them, they haven’t had any other problems with their kid’s bellies.

So with that being my story, I don’t feel like I failed. I’m feeding my kids the best way I can and for some people breast isn’t always best. Don’t let Breast Feeding Week make you feel like a failed mother, don’t let it define who you are, and don’t let it shame you. You are a wonderful human being who does nothing but right for her children. Feed your baby proudly no matter what you use.

If you have any questions about anything please feel free to ask, I’m not a Dr. But I’d be happy to help as much as I can.

To see what recipe I used click here:

http://www.mtcapra.com/discover-how-this-homemade-goat-milk-infant-formula-changed-my-daughters-life/

Hardship.

I’ve always wanted to be a Mom. 

Even at a young age I wanted to be a Mom. I never fully understood what it meant to be a Mom as in the “job description” but I knew I had a wonder example of what a Mom should be. That was from my own Mother and I wanted to be just like her. 

Jason and I got married at the young age of 21 and 20. We knew that we were going to have a family right away from how baby crazy we were. Our “plan” was to wait 3 to 4 years before we started a family but the Lord had other plans and decided that 10 months was good too. 

We had our son Seth Everett a year later, and loved him instantly. He was worth everything we went through to have him. And then we left the hospital with him, that’s where motherhood started… We were to cater and love this tiny 6 pound boy with all of our hearts. 

No one told us about how difficult it was to love this little person when he wouldn’t sleep, he wouldn’t nurse, when he had stomach problems frequently and we didn’t know why, when we wouldn’t sleep but you still had to be energetic when he was up. I knew it was easy to love him on his good days, but no one told me about the bad ones. No one told me that I would want to scream outside out of frustration, or that it was okay to feel like you want to give up. To be angry because you don’t sleep or feel like you’re getting enough of it. But I did know for a fact that I loved him despite the hardships. I loved him and he loved me. 

At Seth’s 4 months I took a test. It came up positive. I’m pregnant. I laughed and cried, waited for my wonderful husband to come home to share the news. We rejoiced and couldn’t wait to meet him or her. A week later we mourned. We lost our child and we couldn’t do anything about it.

No one tells you how hard it is to loose something you love so much and you’ve never even met them. Only though Prayer and Jesus’ strength is how we got through that one. Having a 4 month old also helps to heal the pain. It still hurts. 

2 months later I couldn’t believe it. We were pregnant again. This time it was hard to get excited. It was more scary this time because you don’t want to go through that loss again. But each month we went in there was a heart beat and a strong one. And then we found out it was a girl, our whole world was complete. She was a fighter from day one. But then it hit me. 

How am I going to do this.

How are we going to do this? 

We didn’t know what Jesus was doing in our lives, or why so soon we had another miracle on its way. But we did, we got excited, and treated every day as if we were expecting our first child. Belly pictures galore, kept all the ultrasounds in order, kick counts. You name it we recorded it with her big brother apart of everything. 

26 weeks came, and bleeding started. We couldn’t go through this again, we weren’t ready to let go. So we went in to get checked found out I was in labor and she was healthy, moving and acting as if nothing was affecting her. We were in the hospital for a week, Seth got a week of partying with Nana and Papa. They got my contractions down and I was on lovely bed rest until 36 weeks when we met our little Emerson Jayce.

She had the cord wrapped around her neck 3 times, breeched, and was in respiratory distress. I didn’t even get to see her she was rushed to the NICU so fast. Jason got to go with her thankfully, and I was left to finish off my C-section with loving Dr’s and nurses. We couldn’t hold Emerson for 24 hours. Her body couldn’t handle it. But as soon as I got her in my arms I was in tears instantly. Jason didn’t want to let her go. But we had to. We had to go home with out a baby and leave her there to get the best care.

A week later she was cleared to come home. We sped down the freeway in order to just have her next to us.

Once we got home to our 13 month old and showed him his sister, he was loving at first and then realized she was staying. He wasn’t too stoked about that. He had a pretty bad tantrum and eventually got over it. The trick is to keep the oldest involved. He helps, change, feed, clean, and reads to her now. She’s his best friend and they keep each other busy.  

We now have an almost 2 year old in December and a 5 month old. Yes, like every one says, we do have our hands full. But we wouldn’t change it for the world. 

God has always made it an adventure for us and we don’t know why. But we are following Him and what He wants for us as a family. Trusting Him in all things. We might not understand why things are the way they are now, but when we look back we learn ” Oh, that is what he was trying to teach me” and then it all makes sense. My desire is to really be open, to share, to hold nothing back and to encourage others. 

Hug your children today. Thank God for them. When you have a ton of stuff to do in the house, just stop, enjoy them. Cleaning can wait, they change and grow so fast, be apart of it. Cherish every moment.

I can’t wait to share all of my adventures with you. 

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑